Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Unbeaten Path

Good Morning!

I have been reading some crazy inspirational blog posts today (and here). I’m feeling pumped! Here’s a little story of my struggles to be my own person. In the past I was always leery of people who would want you to do some self discovery to find your passions, needs, weaknesses, etc. You mean I have to go out into the big, scary world and blaze my own trail? No, no! I need direction, guides, step-by-step instructions, anything so I don’t need to use my brain or my personality. Please, please, pretty please, let mebe a robot! I was so afraid to be myself, I wasn’t. Being a follower created a lot of inner turmoil, suppressing my soul to the point where I didn’t know who I was anymore. I didn’t want to be around friends, I cried all the time, I fought with my husband, and made my amazing family pull away. But, I am happy to say my soul won the battle and I am now my own person, creating my own path. I am still tempted to be a follower, and sometimes I fail, but I get right back on my horse and move on. This has been such a HUGE development for me that I am near tears writing this post, actually whose kidding who, I AM crying. This has taken my whole adult life to figure out, and of course I just needed to accept and love who I am. The truth shall set you free!

I was raised in a single parent household. My mother is the strongest person I know (crying again), but I felt that in certain situations she could have used that louder roar I knew was in there somewhere. I believe that you learn habits from the environment in which you are surrounded. Naturally, I grew up being an independent lady but I still followed the crowds. Rarely did I speak my mind. Oh, the horror! This went on throughout high school and college. I very slowly started to change after I graduated but nothing major. I got married, adopted a plant based diet, and started my health info quest. This is when I learned to emotional side to health and how it impacts so many areas of life. I felt the urge to shine like never before. Yet, I still fought it and fought it some more. I was exhausted and feeling pretty sorry for myself. Then I woke up. I realized how destructive I was and that it’s not worth living life if you cannot express who you really are and live your passion. I feel like I have this new chance to make my life all that I want it to be. It’s going to take a lot of work, and yes, self discovery, but I finally feel ready. I will never forget what my seventh grade teacher said to my mom on the last day of class. He told her that I would be a leader in this world! Wow, such a powerful statement to say about a 13 year old. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, of course, but these days I use it as a constant reminder to be proud of the woman I am.

Wherever you are in your journey of “you”, I wish you lots of joy, excitement, and happiness as you blaze your path. You are awesome!!

Thanks to sraburton for such a great pict!

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