Comparisons

Happy Thursday!!!

               Hope everyone's week is going well! I rode my bike into work yesterday. It was great except for the terrential downpour which meant a lot of water sprayed my way from trucks and semi's. I was wearing rain gear but I wore runners and they were absolutely soaked by the end of the trip. I was walking around the office in socks for the rest of the day. Thank goodness I had no meetings:) The trip home was good as well. I got an extra good workout in as I was biking against the wind:) If I could bike through yesterday's weather, I think I can handle anything else!!  I'm planning on riding in tomorrow and then next week I will begin my first 5-day stint.
            

For today's post I thought I would compare carob and cacao as I've always wondered what's healthier,what's tastier, what is a better bang for your buck etc. So, here we go!!


Raw Carob VS. Raw Cacao

Carob is actually a member of the legume family and it grows in mediterranean areas.This 50 foot tree favors dry conditions which fungus and pests detest so very little chemicals need to be applied (score!) It produces no fruit for the first 15 years will continue produce well into it's senior tree years. Carob's pod are edible, the seeds are not. Each pod produces around 15 seeds which are processed to make locust bean gum. The pods are dried and ground into what we know as carob powder.

Cacao trees are native to the Americas yet today they are limited to a geographical zone 20 degrees north and south of the equator. 70% of the world's cacao crop is grown in West Africa . Cacao pods are filled with 30-50 large seeds that are mainly white in color. The seeds and pulp are placed on grates to "sweat" for a couple of days. The dried seeds can be shipped out as is or ground into a powder at the country of origin. To make 1lb of chocolate 300 to 600 beans are processed.

A Carob tree. Take a look at those pods!!

Cacao Tree with "food of the gods" hanging from it.

Nutritionally speaking...

Carob

• free of caffeine and other stimulants (theobromine) that are found in cacao
• Low in fat
• High in calcium (3x chocolate), magnesium, phosphorus, potassium
• Contains iron, manganese, barium, copper, and nickel
• Naturally Sweet

Cacao

• Contains over 300 compounds including protein, fat, carbs, fibre,copper magnesium, iron, and zinc
• Contains antioxidants ( OREC scores it at 95,500, blueberrie are at 2,400)
• Strong stimulant
• Contains oxalic acid that may inhibit calcium uptake
• It can be addictive

Taste

Carob has been described as having a taste like chocolate with coffee accents or like the flavor of a tootsie roll. I find it has a malty type taste..in a good way. Raw cacao is not naturally sweet so you have to add it to something that already has some sweetness in it...unless you like bitter things:). It adds a deep, rich flavor to anything you add it to.

Bang for your Buck

I am basing my prices on Amazon's site so they might be different where you live. A 16 ounce bag of raw carob will run you around $13. Since you don't need to use a lot of it to give you your recipes that chocolate flavor with natural sweetness, this bag should last you awhile. A 16 ounce bag of raw cacao will cost you around $17.00. Depending on how much you love chocolate, you may be okay with this bag for awhile or you may need to buy the two pack.

My take

***FYI this whole article is based on the raw, powdered version of cacao and carob, not the chocolate chip or bar form which can be processed with a lot of junk.***

 There has been a lot of back and forth lately about cacao and if you should be eating it or not. It is a stimulant so if caffeine really effects you or your adrenals aren't functioning at top notch, it's probably best that you go with carob. I LOVE using raw cacao powder and making my own superfood chocolates or chocolate peanut butter cups. I haven't tried using carob for these desserts but I'm sure it would work great and with less added sugar to boot. I add in a little raw carob or raw cacao to my overnight oats, breakfast cookies, or smoothies. All in all, I think carob is the better way to go as you still get that chocolate taste, it's lower in fat, is high in calcium, but without the stimulants or the need to add in extra sweetener.

What are your thoughts? Carob or cacao?

Recipes

Heathy and Philip have actually created a dessert book called Raw Food Carob Desserts. I think I'm going to pick this one up especially with those two authors!!

Ricki has some AMAZING recipes that use carob including Chai Carob Latte, Carob-Coconut Sweeties, and Carob and Date Pancakes. She also has a lot of cocoa/cacao recipes too!

The twins made socca carob bread  that I'll be sure to try as I have about 5lbs of chickpea flour in my pantry that is calling my name:)

Check out carob and cacao on foodgawker

And from yours truly:) Breakfast chocolate protein pudding, banana almond butter chocolates


Tomorrow...oats and all it's many form!! Have a great rest of your day:)

Zero to 30

Happy Tuesday Folks!

         Hope you had a great weekend! Mine was pretty chill but with lots of fun stuff mixed in:)

Friday night we opted to stay in and relax. I look forward to Friday nights where we aren't on a schedule and we don't have to worry about getting up early the next morning. Well at least for me as Ry has been working a lot of Saturdays lately. Friday night is also usually fun food night:)

I have been craving CRUNCH so I went with the ever-so-classic rice krispie treats. I love topping them with Averie's killer frosting

Here's an oldie pict that I took at Christmas time when I was re-introduced to these childhood favorites!!! I know Kris is big on the childhood faves right now too:)

Other Krispie treats I'm going to try eventually:

Kris's Crispy Rice Chocolate Raspberry Nests

Angela's Almond Butter Chews

Angela's No Bake Peanut Butter Chocolate Crispies with PB fudge

Pretty much everything that comes up when you search "Krispie" on Tastespotting

Meghan's Exploding Marshmallows and Crispy Rice Square

My mouth is watering!! Why do I always tempt myself so much on fasting days?

You know when you see those videos with dogs that sit there with a treat balanced on their nose and they don't eat it until the owner gives them the go-ahead. I feel like that dog hahaha!!

Good thing I still have half a box of cereal left:)

Then Saturday night it was Earth Hour. Did you turn your lights off for one hour?

I found my tealights...all 4 of them and tried to read using my cell phone light. Yes, I couldn't wait to continue reading..more on the book later.

Now to discuss a little topic called removing yourself. I used to go to every function with everyone no matter what. Fun or boring I would laugh (or suffer) through it. Now, I'm a little more choosy. I like to hang around people that are engaging, funny, and that add something to my life. And so when plans come up where I know I'll be putting on the fake smile and  fake conversation all night I usually opt out. That means sometimes I'm stuck at home. But to me it's okay because I'm not in a situation where I'm unhappy. It's difficult when you enter a relationship with someone as their friends become your friends. Most of the time it's great but sometimes you have to make a choice if a group is healthy for you or not. It's not always easy to do as there is a lot at play when it comes to friendships. Yet, this way it's healthier and you will be happier in the end:)

Anyone have experience with "friends by association" and removing yourself?

Now for some eats!! I did eat something besides krispie treats :)

With this veggie stash I made these....

I LOVE rice wraps! I found some small wraps in the back of pantry and these were perfect for a quick meal. Besides veggies some of these had chicken (for the hubby) and marinated tofu for moi. I marinated the tofu in apricot jam , a little rice vinegar, and a touch of soy sauce for around 20 minutes. Super tasty! And of course the fun part of this dinner is dunking these wraps in various sauces.

All are delish but hoisen is one of my top favorite dipping sauces:)

Freshly juiced apples with homemade kombucha:) Awesome!! Just the right amount of sweetness. Especially since this batch of kombucha was left out a bit longer and so it is quite tangy.

Then it was smoothie and book time! Katie was raving about this 4-book series by Scott Westerfeld that begins with the book called Uglies. Naturally I had to pick it up at the library (I'm not a book buyer generally). It's awesome! On-the-edge-of-your-seat-futuristic-yet-current thrill ride and I'm only on page 100!

The "beautifier" smoothie has a frozen banana, frozen organic plums, lucuma, chia seed, ground flax, almond milk, organic spinach, and a sprinkle of raw carob powder. Perfecto! 

What are you reading right now? Do you like reading certain genres? I'm not picky really. I love to read a lot of different types of books because that keeps it fresh and always exciting! I'm a suspense girl but not really a crime/murder reader as they tend to make me a little scared and paranoid. I've noticed that if I watch Criminal Minds (which I find super interesting), I'm super nervous the next day thinking something bad is going to happen to me. I guess I better stick to the Care Bears haha!

Weeeeeeee!!!

I've also been tempted by the Twins and all their socca recipes so I purchased some chickpea (AKA Besan or gram) flour and am going to give some of their recipes a try.



Anyone made socca? What's your favorite?

On the weekend I did something that I haven't done in probably 10 years...I rode a bike!!! I was the recipient of a mountain bike that someone didn't want anymore that's in great shape (who doesn't love free stuff:) and it was sitting in my garage for a couple of months. I don't know why I let it sit that long?? shame on me! Ry and I put both our bikes in my little car (don't have a bike rack yet) and went downtown to one of the most beautiful destinations in Vancouver called Stanley Park.

They have a walkers/joggers lane and a bike/rollerblade lane so you don't have to dodge a lot of people. It's one way too which is awesome! It was so much fun:)

Then last night we decided to get all hardcore and we rode to where I work and back..for a total of 30km. Downhill on the way there, uphill all the way back. It was a great workout!

We rode there for another reason besides a killer leg workout. Basically it was to see if it's doable for me to commute with my bike to work everyday. And guess what, it totally is!!! It took us 45 minutes to get to my workplace and that was with some doddling and sightseeing along the way.

 I'm going to try it tomorrow morning and see how it goes. I do have to ride in some high traffic areas in relative darkness for about 15 minutes of my trip which I'm a little nervous about but I'm taking all the precautions- helmet, reflective gear, bike lights etc.

I'm really excited at the possibility of not having to use my car. In fact, I may totally take it off the road completely. Not only would it be great for the environment and my waistline, I would be saving a significant amount of money every month if I didn't have to buy gas, insurance, oil etc. It's a win, win really!

Do you ride your bike to work? Have you tried it in the past? Any advice?

Last but not least....

The wonderful Nelly gave me an award. Such a sweet lady she is:)

.
For the One Lovely Blog Award:



* thank and link the blogger who has given you the award.

* copy and paste the logo in your blog.

* share 7 things about yourself.

* nominate 15 other great bloggers.

* comment and let them know of the award
 
 
7 Things about myself....
 
1. I've never dyed my hair fully. I put streaks in once.
2. I'm very scared of snakes but I can handle spiders
3. I talk to myself often..sometimes aloud!
4. I recently picked up knitting and I love it!
5. I'm afraid to cook without a recipe
6. I love the pool but have to go to my happy place if I use the showers as they gross me out to the point I could gag.
7. I like a plan. I don't like to just show up at someone's house or go for a drive to find dinner.
 
I nominate anyone and everyone who reads my little blog!! Thank you!!
 
Phew, that was a long post!! Hope you have an awesome rest of your day!!

TGIF

Happy Friday folks!!!


         TGIF is all I have to say:) Hope you have some awesome adventures planned for this weekend. I plan on getting my act in gear and making some hummus and other awesome eats to last me into next week. I have not been planning very well and so I pay the price time wise (as I need to cook more in the evenings) and budget wise as I end up buying more pre-made foods. Anyone else notice how expensive everything in the supermarkets are lately? Yuck!

On a seperate note:

I am learning that since I am eating lunch early these days (11-ish) by the time 2:30-3 comes along I need a little something. Since I workout around 3:30-4pm it's hard because I don't want to be feeling the food moving around in my tummy while I'm pumping some iron and so I usually don't have anything. Then all I want to do is eat and eat when I get home as my stomach is a rumblin'. So, I need to make a whack load of these, these, or these. Or maybe make green smoothies before I go to work? Another experiment in the making!!

Awhile back I was awarded this by the lovely Heidi

For the Stylish Blogger award:


1. Make a post that links back to the blogger who gave you the award.

2. Nominate ten more bloggers to receive the award and list them in your post along with links to their blogs.

3. Tell them they’ve received the award by posting a comment on their blog.


1. Nelly - This lovely bride-to-be has such a big heart! I love reading about her daily adventures in the kitchen and elsewhere as she is getting ready for her big day:)
2. Lori - This girl has got it going on. She pumps iron, can actually handle the TRX, and makes some killer eats that break free from the everyday!
3. Katie -This is where science nerds unit. Katie is working on her PhD and I'm going to ND school so we share this connection. Or at least that's what I think lol! She is your everyday cookie and stevia-baking master. And she is a love of mustard and hummus. So, what's not to love.
4. Bitt - A great advocate for the vegan cause and animals, Bitt provides amazing raw/vegan recipes, including her famous Bitt bars. She is so passionate and provides me with a great support for my lifestyle choice.
5. Kelli - This lovely lady shares amazing raw/vegan food on her blog. She even comes up with names for her veggies she's that cool. Kelli not only blogs about her eats, she touches on the emotional aspect of our human nature which I like a lot
6. Kris- My local blogger buddy Kris is a bakery owner, blogger, online company owner, and all around awesome lady. She always shares amazing recipes and tips on how to be your own glamazon!!! Every Friday is treat day so it's always exciting to see what she has cooked/uncooked up!
7. Laury -This beautiful soon mother-to-be is an amazing advocate for true wellness living. She is a personal trainer and so she shares workout tips and fun new exercises. She also shares amazing recipes and great tips in her FridayFive.
8. Angela- I get a sense of  calm and flowing kindess about her when I read her blog and I think it's so refreshing. Her site is packed with incredible recipes and ideas to create the ultimate raw kitchen that is incredibly eco-friendly.
9. Torri - She is another beautiful home girl!! This lovely lady blogs about her love of yoga and the trials and tribulations of our crazy modern lives. She opens up to you like a friend and I really love that about her:)

Okay I made it to 9!  Tha'ts it for today folks. Have a great one:)

DIY easy, gorgeous, and cheap green decor

Happy Wednesday folks,

           This week is flying by! Hopefully you are getting to see some Spring weather in your area. It's stunning here today but then it's supposed to rain, rain, and rain. I've decided to skip the gym and get in a good run instead!

Okay now onto some decor DIY. I love watching shows where they take simple, everyday items and make  beautiful decor pieces out of them. I visit craftgawker and dwellinggawker often as they have amazing ideas that you can complete on a dime.  Lately I've been seeing a lot of terrarium and sedum rock garden ideas and knew I wanted to try making one. With $20 I was able to buy 5 plants (each with multiple plants themselves that I split apart), decortive rocks, and a couple vases. I went to my local garden center and picked up some easy maintenance, rock garden approved, and low watering plants.

These included:

Sedums

Hen and chicks (a commercial name for a variety of Sedum)

ferns( needs a little more water than the sedums)

Black Clover

Cacti

Pilea

Here is what I ended up with......

Fun, hey?

Okay so how can you do this at home. SIMPLE!

1. Gather a bunch of glass vases or bowls, making sure they are clean. I bought a purple plastic bowl for $1 to see how it would work. You can see it in the 7th picture. It works great!

2. Pick out your plants. Any sedum or hen and chick variety would work great. These produce shallow roots and need little soil to work with. My local nursery has a section for rock garden plants which is where I picked up most of pretties I used above. I am trying a fern species to see how it works in this environment and I'm sure it will work fine, your soil will just need to be a bit deeper.

3. Gather some rocks. I picked through my garden beds and found some large rocks to line the bottom  of the container. You could use decorative rock here if you wanted.

4. Add in some potting soil, cactus soil, or use the soil the plants came with. I used the soil that the plants came in and used some of my garden bed soil if I needed to add more to cover the roots. Some websites recommend activated charcoal if your terrarium is going to be closed in order to prevent it from smelling.

5. Add in the plant(s) and cover with decorative stuff like the colored rocks I used or you could go with moss (see picture #4). You can buy moss but I live on the West Coast so I don't need to go very far to find it. ***cough*** my yard ***cough***.

6. Enjoy! These make a fabulous gift or just place around your house or office for a fun living piece of decor.

Have you even made your own pieces of decor? I'm planning on making some wall art soon with either fabric or paint. It's a lot of fun and makes your house look fab!! The best part is you don't have to spend your whole paycheck to get that stylish look. Cha-Ching!!!

Have a great day everyone!!

Black Magic

Hello all,

           Happy Tuesday! Hope you had a swell weekend. Mine was filled with lots of fun projects and even a little sunshine:) I cleaned up my back yard as I had given up racking leaves since my neighbor's tree kept blowing them into our lawn all fall. Now that the trees are barren, it was my chance. My compost bin is loaded and my lawn waste bin is overflowing. But the grass is finally free of debris and so maybe it can fill in a bit more!

I also dug a little spot a couple feet wide and about 12 feet long where I planted my hostas! It felt great to get my hands in the soil again. Let's hope the hostas like their new home! Just as I had finished up it started to hail out..heavily. Love it when timing just works out:)

I'll be sharing another project I did involving some sedums and a little DIY modern decor. Just need to take some more picts!


I also finally found the blade for my blender which was MIA for quite some time. So, it was time to get back on the green smoothie bandwagon.

This smoothie named "black magic"  was filled with blueberries, frozen banana, chocolate Vega powder, a little raw cacao, almond milk, 3 large lettuce leaves, and lucuma powder. Dee-lish!

Lucuma is actually a fruit found in Peru, Chile, and Ecuador.

According to Navitas Naturals site they state that :

Lucuma is considered a healthy alternative sweetener as it lends a sweet taste to recipes, but is very low in sugars. With naturally occurring beta-carotene, niacin, and iron, lucuma powder is a welcome antidote to notorious “empty calorie” sweeteners.

It's a very unique product with a unique taste. I liked it in my smoothie but I'm excited to try lucuma ice cream which apparently is a big hit all over Europe.

What recipes have you used lucuma in?

Of course can't leave out my current obsession! Over the past few months my juicer has seen lots of action. It's a great way to get in your daily dose of true plant blood.

I have been keeping a close eye on the nuclear events in Japan as the West Coast of BC in in the direct path
of trade winds from Japan. Meaning that if the nuclear power plant were to experience a meltdown, a lot of radiation was going to hit BC.

There have been a lot back and forth going on in the media saying not to fear but I'm not that trustworthy of the news. I listened to a great interview that David Wolfe did on the topic of radiation and ways to protect yourself just in case.

I went to my local health food store to stock up on some of the products David recommended.

My list included:
Iodine - protects the thyroid and glandular system from radiation damage

From Natural News:

Dr. Brownstein is one of the top experts on iodine. About radiation exposure, he explains: "If there is enough inorganic, non-radioactive iodine in our bodies, the radioactive fallout has nowhere to bind in our bodies. It will pass through us, leaving our bodies unharmed. It is important to ensure that we have adequate iodine levels BEFORE this fallout hits." (Source link below, from the IMVA website.)


Astragralus - Protects and supports the immune system
Reishi mushroom - "mushroom of immortality" helps radiation-damaged immune systems Ginseng - Treat bone marrow suppression caused by radiation and protect the thyroid

These little guys are actually quite tasty! And you drink them with a straw which is fun.

Reishi tincture, bladderwrack tincture (a seaweed high in iodine), and astragalus!

Now on to dessert!

I made this awesome vegan cheesecake that I saw on Lori's blog. It's crumbled goji berry and apple flavor! This was super delish and easy peasy! Lori said her version wasn't that sweet so I added in some maple syrup:) Mmm I think the taste got better after a day as the flavors had a greater chance to mingle.

 Mmmmm! And I'm not even a super fan of cooked apples but the combination of filling, crust, and baked apple with gojis was actually really, really good!

Alrighty folks I'm off to the dentist so have a great rest of your day! Coming up later on I'm going to share about awards, decor, crafts, yogurt, kefir, and more! Chow!

PS Happy Spring:)

Animal rescue of loyal pal in Japan

This video brought tears to my eyes. What loyalty and love this dog shows to his ailing friend.
I'm happy to see the update that both dogs are receiving care in nearby clinics.




I know there are many more animals to be rescued so I pray for them just as I do for the whole of Japan.

I hope you enjoyed seeing some GOOD news this Friday morning! I'll be back later on today!! Chow.

My story 27 years in the making

Happy Tuesday all!!

          Hope you had a great weekend. I was geeking it up this weekend for my exam that was on Sunday. The exam was easier than I thought it was going to be so that was nice:) I feel so free now, a natural high! Just in time for my birthday week:) Ha! Well my birthday is today but I'm celebrating all the rest of the week too! You have to do that when your birthday falls mid-week, right?

I don't have any crazy plans for tonight. Might just go out for dinner and have a couple glasses of wine:) A good friend of mine has his birthday tomorrow so we might be planning a joint venture for the weekend. Should be great times either way!

I've had this tug on my heart that I should tell you my story of where I came from and how I've evolved. Including a huge realization that came to me only yesterday!!!


The beginning

I was born on March 15, 1984 in Vancouver, BC. At 6 months of age my mom packed up her life and moved us to Penticton, BC. This is the place I call home. I was fortunate enough to have many family members close by and that meant oodles of cousins to play with since I didn't have any other siblings at home.

Me with my cuz!

Another cuz! We were very close and always got into trouble played together

I was a beach lover from the start:)

And this was where my love for sugar began....

Give me more!!!

Crash and burn!!

My aunt also ran a daycare so my mom and I would visit often and it was awesome to have a ton of play buddies.Since the cousins close to my age were boys I tended to join in more cops and robbers, tree climbing, and fort building adventures than playing with barbies.

But one thing was clear, I loved animals and would hang out with them any time I got.

I swear I saw an adult version of my dress at Betsy Johnson on Sunday:)

For those of you who don't know my story, I have never met me dad. He doesn't know I exist actually. I never asked about him when I was growing up or wondered why other people had Dads and not me. I was content and was loved by so many family members that I never felt a void.  I do want to find him eventually but I've held off because it's not an easy thing to tell someone straight up that they have a child they never knew about. I don't want anything from him, just for him to know that I'm out there. One day!

My mom, grandma, and me! Three generations:)

As I got older and became more aware of my mom and her struggle with chronic pain, I tried to take on some of the stress that seemed to plague her. I turned my feelings inward and tried everything to make the pain go away for her. Instead of showing love, I tried to be a logical, protective 8 year old. My stress had become so bad that we had to move out of our low-income housing. I had not only taken on the health stress that my mom faced daily, but also the financial. I felt judged on so many levels and saw the whole world pointing its finger at me and seeing me as "poor." It was then that we moved and my mom enrolled me in a program called Big Brothers and Big Sisters. My world was forever changed. I was able to experience things that my mom wasn't able too physically and financially. Annette had a hobby farm with a bunch of horses and a couple bassett hounds. It was heaven visiting her place! She even had some contacts and was able to get me some riding lessons!



It was lots of fun but my trainer was very serious!

Yet being on a horse with the wind in your hair felt amazing!

She took her niece and I to Disneyland too!

Life kept going! I got older and at the same time my self worth declined. I began being hard on myself and comparing my body and looks to other women that I considered prettier than myself. I found one picture in a magazine of this girl who I thought looked amazing in these designer jeans and that was the tipping point.



My last year of high school and the first year of university were some of the saddest times of my life. I totally withdrew from the people are me. I broke the heart of my high school boyfriend, stopped hanging out with friends when it involved food, hid and threw away food, exercised excessively, and stopped going to family dinners. It was a very lonely and exhausting time for me.

I never got dangerously thin but I was getting there. When I finally gave in and started eating something besides dried fruit and wine gums, I became angry. I thought I was failing myself. This led to entering a relationship that was severely controlling yet somehow supportive in my struggle, at least in the beginning.

I went through a hard adjustment period where I went from severe deprivation to overindulging. The same out of control behavior but in the opposite direction. I began to soothe my worries with food and this created a very powerful bad, emotional habit.

I was in my third year of university when I split up with Mr.Controller and he had me so wrapped around his little finger that he basically convinced me to get back together with him. After a month or so I finally came to my senses and left for good. It was very hard as we attended the same small university and even commuted together for awhile after we broke up. Let's just say it was a confusing time for me. He helped me to eat somewhat normally again but in an instant he could tear my self esteem apart with his words.

With time I gained the confidence to ignore him and not feel guilty. But I did this by drinking and partying a lot more than usual. I wasn't going completely party crazy but I felt free and partying made me forget everything that had happened over the past 6 months.

It was during my 4th year university that I met Ryan right smack in the middle of the party phase. I was getting a better grip on my eating and figuring out how to eat in a balanced way.

Ryan's first visit to Kelowna where I was living and attending UBC Okanagan

I moved to the coast after dating 1.5 years long distance. I finished up the remaining art credits online and finally graduated in 2007 with BSc. in biology.

Life was pretty good after I graduated . I found a descent job, lived near a vibrant downtown, and my relationship was becoming pretty serious.

Then this....

We got engaged on September 1st 2007 and then August 30th 2008 we got hitched

After we got married there was another adjustment period and times were rocky for awhile. Eventually we both adapted and learned a few things about ourselves along the way.

I became vegetarian in October 2008 and found myself withdrawing like I did when I was suffering from my disordered eating. I didn't want the questions or the looks when I had to explain to others that I didn't eat this or that. I basically was afraid to be myself and thought others wouldn't accept me.

I really struggled with my fears and shed a ton of tears because of it. I truly thought I couldn't be different.  Again I slowly came out of my shell and began joining friends in situations that involved food. I learned how to respond kindly to questions or reactions.

I had never felt more free than when I stopped resisting who I was!!

My bestie and me on a lake near Edmonton Alberta in March

We bought a house, Ry went to school, and work chugged on. My confidence levels were pretty high during this time and life was good. Once we returned from the Nelson, BC where Ry went to school, there was this shift that started out slowly but has built. I began focusing on my weight and how I looked in the mirror. I was disappointed and saw every flaw possible.Yet, I knew that going the deprivation route was not going to happen, I wouldn't allow it. So, I ate more to soothe my emotions which has led to where I am now. This vicious cycle where the mirror looks okay one day, another day not so much.

Always telling myself I didn't look good enough.

Then yesterday I received three separate emails that basically said the same thing.

 It was like a slap in the face, an instant wake up call.

"When we tell ourselves that we are a certain way, we synergistically do things to keep ourselves in that box in both negative and positive ways. Our body will believe ANYTHING we tell it. So someone who tells herself: “I cannot lose the fat on my stomach” will also do things to fulfill that prophecy." Jenna Phillips

This is me to a T! When I read Jenna's words it hit home big time.

I had fallen out of love with MYSELF. I had separated my body from my mind and made it seem like that was another person staring back at me in the mirror. I judged like no tomorrow. Yet I kept myself in this place for some reason.

After reading those three emails I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder and the pressure was off. I had my weight on my mind so often that I wasn't enjoying life like it should be enjoyed. After witnessing the tragedy in Japan I felt embarrassed that I was focused on something so minuscule in this life.

I feel like this was a huge turning point for me! Life changing for sure:) 



So there's my story in a nutshell:) Hope you didn't mind such a long read:)

Have you ever read something or seen something that caused an ah-ha moment? 

 

Have a wonderful day everyone! I'm off to get my sweat on and then it's dinner. I'm thinking Indian:)