Thursday, November 18, 2010

Walls come tumbling down

Hey all,

    I have a different post than my usual food/fitness/fun posts. Today I want to talk about putting up walls in our minds and trying to tear them down. Lately I was involved in a situation where both those events took place and it was eye opening!

On the one hand I saw someone who didn't believe in themself and was desperately afraid of making changes that could greatly benefit their life. It was like looking seeing my old self in the mirror. It made me emotional and frustrated. I now knew what my family and friends used to go through with me!!

I tried hard to build them up and tell them you CAN do it, change IS possible.. But the walls would come up and they would retreat. I wasn't thinking that I could change this person's habits on the spot, but I was hoping for a couple of bricks to crumble at the least. Nada.

They sounded like a broken record. I thought I was finally making some progress and then they would retreat and return to their normal defense mechanisms. It was heartbreaking every time this happened. As I feel life is too short to fester in things and we need to forgive others and, maybe even more importantly, we need to forgive ourselves.

I hated doing it but I had to get out of the conversation.
I had said all I could say and now the ball is in their court. I hope they don't fumble, I really do.

Now, to the other end of the spectrum. Someone near and dear to me finally saw the light! It was so exciting to see someone take control of their life and be strong in a difficult situation.

This revelation was long time coming and I'm so happy to see this person tackle change and see it as a good thing. Change is hard. Period. Even when you know the change will be for the better, you still have to take the actions to get there. Facing scrutiny from others can cause such fear that people resist change all together.

I feel motivated to keep moving forward and to always be open to whatever comes my way!
Being a support to others has increased my belief in myself too.And that's always a good thing:)

Seeing two ends of the wall spectrum unfold in one day is crazy but, quite frankly, I'm exhausted!
On one hand I'm super stoked to see this new leash on life, and yet on the other, I can't help but feel defeated. I know it ultimately comes down to the individual having to make the change on their own but sometimes I feel this will never happen and they need a little push.

 Have you had any experience with 
"wall builders" or "wall destroyers" ?

 Have a great night everyone!! I think it's time for some ZZZzzzzz's!!


Nelly said...

my life in the last little while has been about after the other...too many changes...that i was not ready or willing to make...and i was scared to death...

but...slowly...i started taking little steps...and i'm ok...the changes have been made...and my life will be all the better because of the changes...

we are hard headed a boulder that won't budge...but with the right tools, slowly, and with some hard work...that boulder final budges, right? and so do humans...

love you girlie...i am still here...just trying to get my life back on track...a few more weeks...and i will be back to my old self again...

sending you hugs!

Melissa said...

Hey doll it's so good to hear from you!!! I'm so happy for you in taking baby steps:)
I was feeling like a kid on a high dive too scared to jump. Yet, once I did it everything fell into place and I forgot all about how scared I was.
I love how you are taking care of yourself!! Can't wait to see you back in the sphere:)

Kris | said...

Great inspiring post!!

I really love the visual I get when you say walls in the mind. There are some people in my life that think I am "crazy" for believing I can live the life I choose and that change is good, but I have seen so many over come their old "story" and are finally happy!

I choose very wisely who I spend my time with now ;)

Its hard to watch people who keep their walls up, isn't it?


Laury@TheFitnessDish said...

Oh, I know someone like this ALL TOO WELL! People will not change their thinking, it has to come within, and they have to be open to it. I have been a broken record SO MANY TIMES, and it's SUPER frustrating!!! All you can do it take yourself out of the conversation, because one can only take so much negativity that comes from another person, and try so much to help them!

Lori said...

Oh man. Were you writing to me in this post?
I want change. I want it bad. But I'm too scared to make a decision on what exactly to change... and way too scared to act on it. You are correct- change is hard. But this should be the reason we do it- not hold back.
So, broken record or not, just voicing your thoughts to that "stuck" person may help more than you think...
But yea, still frustrating for you!

Melissa said...

Hey Kris - You are so inspiring..definitely walking the walk you are!! I choose carefully too except in this case it's tricky because it's family. But at least I tried and hopefully she will remember me cheering her on!

Hey Laury - You are so right!! I did have to remove myself as I felt my soul being sucked away..blah! I said my peace and now it's in their court to make a change. I don't know if people like her ever change but at least I can say I tried to give her a different way of looking at life.

Hey Lori - Girl, you can do anything and you ARE doing great things!! I'm here to cheer you on and I know jumping off that high dive is so scary but the rewards are greater:) I wish you all the best in the change you are seeking!! I'm glad that you said maybe my talk did do some good...I appreciate that because I was doubting myself:)